Once again, something has been whisked away, and the only one who feels anything is me. My surprise baby is gone. Never to be born. Never to play with its siblings. Never to crawl into my lap and give me a hug. I am devastated after spending over five hours dealing with the miracle of life fall out of my body and then having to collect all of it pieces for scientific evaluation.
Pain. Pain in the process of what I had to do and pain in living with its aftermath. Yet, the people in my home do not get it...nor do they seem to care. I think that is the worst part that no one cares. Their lives go on as usual. They don't grieve. They don't cry. They don't want to crawl into a cave and stay for eternity. Life as usual. Go to work. Work on projects. Go play golf. Get some chili. Watch TV. Play on computers.
But not me. I ache. I ache for the one that I thought was coming and I ache that all the plans that were being made are just as dead as the baby that was inside of me. Just as dead as I feel...
